Great day to kiteboard! Went for a day trip despite being a long weekend since the kids didn’t want to come. But almost 7hours of travel (total) just to kiteboard for 4hours was all worth it. We felt ecstatic to have learned to do carving transition today.
I have been feeling very stressed since the holidays to the point of getting anxiety attacks, which I have to immediately counter with medications so I don’t feel worse.
Exhaustion. Burnt-out. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.
I know there have been many blessings these past months despite whatever humps I’ve run into. My exhaustion and anxiety, soaring to another level, blind me from appreciating all the recent blessings.
It is so difficult to think and stay positive while you are dealing with anxiety. When all these “what-if” thoughts take control and it takes so much mental effort to fight it down. Of course, the medicine helps to calm those raging and unreasonable anxiousness.
Medications. Another challenge. I have been wanting to reduce taking medications and learning to deal with it through more natural means, but the past weeks have not been good and I needed to. Otherwise, I’d probably be this very irritable and anxious monster.
I know I still have a lot to be thankful for, despite this rollercoaster struggle with anxiety. I am still thankful it is manageable. I am thankful I am sensitive to my body and can feel when an attack seems coming. I am thankful I can still find strength (especially mentally) to fight it. I just wish I can learn more ways to help myself.
It’s been a month since our househelp went back home to her province, and left us with no househelp since. Having none has taken a toll on my patience and energy. I had to learn to deal with all the housework and managing my irritability when tired and stressed.
One benefit to our current situation though is that my eldest daughter would volunteer to cook her meals (she would do this also before but I see this more often now). Earlier, it actually felt good to help her out cook her pasta. She would also initiate at times (though not always) washing her own dishes (and extending to a few others).
My youngest daughter, on the other hand, have learned to offer help around especially when she sees I am tired.
Things are not so bad. 😊
Tiring but not bad. 😊
Filed under Blogging, Daily Gratitude, Family & Friends
Gratitude #1
The long weekend was great. Tiring but great.
It started Friday night when we capped the night til about 3:00am playing darts with friends. I had to wake up early depsite sleeping at 4:00am because of my eldest daughter’s dental appointment— this is the day she gets her braces.
After lunch, I ended up sleeping for almost 3 hours. That was how tired, sleepy and grumpy I was (getting only 3-4 hours of sleep almost every day during school days).
Sunday and Monday was the best. Initially, we had scheduled only a day trip on Sunday to Calatagan to kiteboard. It ended up with us going home Sunday then going back to Calatagan Monday (another 3-hour trip each way back and forth) for another day to kiteboard since wind forecast for Monday was better (and Sunday winds were so light and tide was low, I only got to kiteboard for 30mins and hubby did not).
Thankful that despite the strong rains & squall on Monday, we got to ride even for just a few minutes… a much better ride than the past sessions.
Happy. We’re getting there….
Also thankful for meeting new kiteboarders. New friends. It amazes me at times the different kinds of people we meet in the windsurfing and kiteboarding community.
Plus side in going home on Sunday night was we got to play darts for almost 3 hours with friends. We had to close early since we had to get up early Monday morning for our drive back to Calatagan.
Kiteboarding. Darts. Fun. Tired. Exciting. Fulfilling. Relaxing.
Definitely a fun-filled weekend to remember.
Gratitude #2
Tuesday morning. Back to reality.
I know waking up early at 4:30am isn’t exactly the thing I look forward to. The best thing though about every morning that I love is when I wake up my kids, I get to lie down and hug them especially my teenager who doesn’t normally want to be hugged anymore. I guess this is the only time I can get to hug her for a few minutes while I wake her up, and whisper a prayer for her .
The kids are growing up so fast. Every morning while I wake them up, I get nostalgic and remember especially during the much younger days of my eldest daughter (2-5 years old) where every night, she would ask me to massage her back before she sleeps. I used to lie down and hug her as well every night till she falls asleep.
I only pray my youngest would continue to be sweet and touchy and loves being hugged.
Warm. Sweet mornings. Loving moments. Enjoying my kids.
Filed under Blogging, Daily Gratitude, Family & Friends
Dare to Dream. Dare to Imagine. 