Fear of Forgetting

During my teens and twenties, I knew without a doubt how photographic my memory was. In high school and college, I can clearly recall what I wrote in my notebook page by page. During exams, I would try to focus as if turning the pages of my notes in my mind looking for the answer to a question. At night before going to sleep, I can recall my day’s events in crisp clarity.

Two epidurals, stress and more than 10 years later, I find myself forgetting a lot of things. I used to be good with names. Now I can’t easily remember them. I misplace things. I forget events.

I have to keep a list of to-dos, a list of reminders, a list of passwords and a whole lot more.

But with this deteriorating memory, what I fear most is that I might forget the good times with my family, most especially with my spouse and my kids as they grow up. There are a lot of funny, warm, loving moments that I want to keep fresh in my mind until the day I die. Moments that I wish I can just easily open from my memory bank and relive in clear detail when I’m old and gray and I want to feel the joy, the love that this life has given.

Ondoy

Saturday, the day Ondoy hit Metro Manila, was literally and figuratively a dark and dreary day for many of us. I am thankful and I know that our family is very fortunate not to have witnessed and experienced the fierceness of Ondoy. We were so blessed to have encountered only the rains and a little flood that was barely ankle-deep outside our house, even oblivious that less than two kilometers from our place some homes and our parish was already a little over waist-deep in water.

I knew with that continuous heavy rainfall, a lot of areas in Metro Manila would be flooded, but I never really imagined the immensity of the devastation it caused ’til I saw the news and the aftermath in the internet and even in facebook.

We are deeply saddened by the people lost and the great number of families displaced from their homes. We really pray for strength, faith and forebearance for all the victims of the typhoon, and for more immediate aid to come for whatever needs they may have.

Hunger Reality: Are You Not Guilty?

I was recently blog hopping and came across this post from Blogusvox. I was so moved by the video and the tragic reality it showed. We all know that this is happening and it is so easy to think and acknowledge it then forget it amidst our busy lives, so to see it captured on video like this… I just can’t find the right words especially looking at that smiling happy face of a little girl eating leftover food that was already thrown away in the garbage…

So I’d like to share this video as well…here’s the link.

It’s a very apt video to share these days… after all everyone is buzzing and complaining about our President’s lavish meals.

Yet while we go on cursing and castigating our President, have we taken a good look at ourselves? It doesn’t have to be the same proportion as to what our President spent, but are we not guilty as well of being wasteful at times — it may be on food, clothes, miscellaneous stuff for the house, personal fetishes, gimmiks, etcetera… considering the situation of many poor families in our society.

I know I am.  Despite trying hard to practice, and to teach our kids as well, to be frugal and prudent, there are moments of weakness when we forget and spend irresponsibly. We may think that we are affecting and being irresponsible only to our own families, but as a priest and social worker once said, “spending unwisely and extravagantly is also being morally and socially irresponsible with so many suffering from poverty and hunger all over the world”.

I am not proud to admit it, but one thing that also turns me off are those who easily criticize others without realizing that they themselves are acting irresponsibly and have not taken any actions to help our country. That one I try my best to avoid.

This is not to say that we should all go starving ourselves as well to show our sympathy. It’s just to say that before we put the blame on people and organizations, let’s closely examine ourselves first.

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Just something I’d like to share…

One thing I learned and am proud of about hubby is his generosity.  Many years back during the early years of our relationship, we were about to enter a fastfood restaurant when two or three street children blocked our way begging for alms. Instead of shooing them away or simply giving them coins, he invited them in, sat them on a table and ordered food for them.

I was so touched, my heart was bursting and I wanted to cry but kept the tears to myself, and smiled instead. I have not actually seen or met anyone brave enough to do this.

I say “brave” because many of us are cowards to show a different kind of generosity in public places, and risk the stare and opinions of others.  We would rather just give money and walk away.

It was the first time I saw him do that, but definitely not the last. To this day, there are still random moments when he does that.  And to this day, it has been our practice to give food instead of giving money to street kids begging for alms. At least with food, you know where it goes.