Premenopausal, Midlife crisis or Anxiety?

I’m not sure which is the real culprit or if all three are ganging up on me.

Lately, for the past how many months, my irritability level seemed to have skyrocketed. My body feels always tired not unless I get to exercise for the day. But if I don’t, I feel very lethargic. My motivation and interest levels seem blah. There are times I have many things on my mind I target to do but end up too tired to do it. 😦

Stress? Lack of sleep? Lack of fulfillment? Makes me think if these are adding to it as well. So question now is how do I get out if this rut?

Kiteboard Day Trip

Great day to kiteboard! Went for a day trip despite being a long weekend since the kids didn’t want to come. But almost 7hours of travel (total) just to kiteboard for 4hours was all worth it. We felt ecstatic to have learned to do carving transition today.

Daily Gratitude

I have been feeling very stressed since the holidays to the point of getting anxiety attacks, which I have to immediately counter with medications so I don’t feel worse.

Exhaustion. Burnt-out. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.

I know there have been many blessings these past months despite whatever humps I’ve run into. My exhaustion and anxiety, soaring to another level, blind me from appreciating all the recent blessings.

It is so difficult to think and stay positive while you are dealing with anxiety. When all these “what-if” thoughts take control and it takes so much mental effort to fight it down. Of course, the medicine helps to calm those raging and unreasonable anxiousness.

Medications. Another challenge. I have been wanting to reduce taking medications and learning to deal with it through more natural means, but the past weeks have not been good and I needed to. Otherwise, I’d probably be this very irritable and anxious monster.

I know I still have a lot to be thankful for, despite this rollercoaster struggle with anxiety. I am still thankful it is manageable. I am thankful I am sensitive to my body and can feel when an attack seems coming. I am thankful I can still find strength (especially mentally) to fight it. I just wish I can learn more ways to help myself.

My Happiness Style : The Experiencer

You find supreme happiness by engaging in meaningful moments with a sense of adventure, curiosity, and whimsy—at home or on the road. You are in your sweet spot of happiness when you engage the world with your deep sense of wonder.

As an Experiencer, you struggle with overindulging. You are easily distracted. You find it a challenge to get your work done.

Experiencers are most compatible with other Experiencers and Relaters, especially those who are up for a little adventure. You might be challenged in relationships with Doers. 

As an Experiencer, you are a beauty seeker, adventurer, and pay-attentioner. People say you are mindful and fun loving.
Your motto in life is this: “I don’t look for happiness in a store; I look for it in moments.”
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My Score : 

The Doer : 28

The Giver : 23

The Relater : 26

The Thinker : 32

The Experiencer : 35

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The Five Styles of Happiness

When I took this dare toward happiness, I began to explore my theory that God uniquely wired us for happiness. I interviewed people from ages eleven to ninety-two, consulting with psychologists, talking with ministry leaders, and by reading hundreds of studies and articles. I then created an assessment tool to see if we could pinpoint people’s individual happiness styles. Thousands of people have now taken the test, and it’s been thrilling to help people discover what truly makes them happy.

It’s important that I tell you this up front: We have also discovered that the area where you are most wired for happiness, is the exact area where you are most likely to experience burn-out, exhaustion, over-indulgence, and a host of other challenges.

The Doers: Doers find supreme happiness in purposeful activity. They are in their happy place when they are doing what they were created to do—and doing it well. Doers may struggle with perfectionism and workaholism. They find it a challenge to rest.
Their life motto is: “I don’t wait for the weekend to live a happy life.”

The Relaters: Relaters find supreme happiness in positive, meaningful relationships. They thrive in the company of friends and family. Relaters struggle with draining themselves emotionally by taking care of everyone else first. They are challenged when they feel they’ve been left out.

Their life motto is: “Together is what makes us brave when life makes us scared.”

The Experiencers: Experiencers find supreme happiness by engaging in meaningful moments with a sense of adventure, curiosity, and whimsy. Experiencers struggle with overindulging, are easily distracted, and find it a challenge to get their work done.

Their life motto is: “I don’t look for happiness in a store; I look for it in moments.”

The Givers: Givers find supreme happiness by seeking ways to bring delight to others. They believe that a shared happiness is a double happiness. Givers struggle with feeling drained from taking care of others. They are challenged when it seems that others aren’t as generous as they ought to be.

Their life motto is: “The best way to find happiness is to create it for someone else.”

The Thinkers: Thinkers find supreme happiness in the contemplative work of the mind. They take delight in learning, pondering, and dreaming. Thinkers get frustrated with others who don’t see things their way. They are challenged when people make them feel incompetent.

Their life motto is: “My inquisitive, wandering, wild mind doesn’t make me weird; it makes me wonderful.”

Five Ways to Stay Fit When You Work at Home

Found this article and I can very much relate and appreciate the tips written here.

As a mompreneur myself, most of the time I’m looking for time to squeeze in some exercise not for weight loss or anything but more to release stress. But more often than not is unable to find time, and find myself exhausted and close to burnout.

Just want to share this here…

Five Ways to Stay Fit When You Work at Home by Theresa Ceniccola

If you’re running a home business while raising a family, you probably feel like you have two full-time jobs. For many mompreneurs, the last thing on the list of priorities is an exercise routine. In fact, a recent study published in the journal Pediatrics found that new mothers exercise less than childless women their age. Add to that a new business, and you have a recipe for an exhausted, unhealthy mom.

So we agree that work-at-home moms have unique challenges when it comes to maintaining a fitness routine. But chances are, one of the reasons you chose to start a business while raising a family is so you could create a more balanced life. So you could earn a living doing what you love while remaining present at home for your family. When you ignore your own health and fitness, you can’t possibly live a balanced life. And while you may be physically present for your family, you may not be the most pleasant mom (Trust me – I’ve been the cranky mom many times!).

Regular exercise gives you more energy to keep up with your children and your busy schedule. It helps you stay focused and productive in the office. Exercise relieves stress and endorphins that help you feel better about yourself, your business and life in general. And it creates a healthier home because a happy mommy is a good mommy.

So how can you create time for fitness when you’re running a business and taking care of your children? Try these fitness tips for mompreneurs:

Five Fitness Tips for Busy Mom Entrepreneurs

1. First Things First. Have you ever read the book Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy? It’s about procrastination and the idea of tackling your highest priority task first thing in the day (your “frog”). For me, that’s exercise. I discovered long ago that the only excuse I have the morning is that I want to sleep longer. As the day progresses, the excuse list gets longer. Life gets in the way. So I know I have to knock it out first thing. You may have better results with an evening routine or lunchtime workout, but try to choose a time of day and make it part of your regular schedule. Then you don’t have to figure out where to squeeze in a workout. It’s already part of your day.

2. Follow Your Heart. Exercise doesn’t have to be grueling and painful. In fact, if you want to stick with it, you should choose something fun. If you’re not into running or hanging out at a gym, then take a look at other options. Try Zumba, yoga, swimming or belly dancing. Take a class in rock climbing or stand-up paddle boards. Go hiking, biking or in line skating. If you’re having fun, you’ll want to do it again.

3. Set a Goal. As an entrepreneur, you’re probably used to measuring results. For some people, the motivation comes from the monitoring this progress along a journey to improve something specific. To lose weight. To get stronger or faster. To live longer. To be happier and less stressed. Get in touch with your own personal motivation. What is it that you hope to accomplish through exercise? It doesn’t have to be a number on the scale or a certain size jeans. It could simply be that you want to have energy every morning. Or perhaps you want to be able to keep up with your dog on a hike or walk that you take. Or maybe you want to run a 5k for a charity. Whatever it is, write down your goal and keep it someplace visible for motivation.

4. Find a Partner. What’s the reason Weight Watchers is so successful? Accountability. There is someone waiting for you to show up each week and get on that scale. Having an exercise partner gives you that same accountability. Just knowing that someone is waiting for you and counting on you to show up can be a powerful motivator. I’ve run a marathon, completed several bike centuries and competed in many triathlons. I know for certain I never would have made it to the starting line in any of those events without a training partner. Here’s a tip about choosing your exercise partner: find someone who is slightly faster, stronger or more skilled in the activity than you. This will ensure that you are challenged but not completely outmatched, which would leave you both frustrated and discouraged.

5. Honor Your Commitment. Once you’ve decided to make fitness a part of your daily routine then give yourself permission to spend the time you need to workout. This may require hiring a babysitter or letting go of another obligation. It may mean that something else simply doesn’t get done perfectly (like laundry or housecleaning). Take some time to explain to your family why you are exercising and how important it is to you. Help them understand that you need their support and encouragement if you are going to keep it up. Ask them to respect your need for dedicated workout time. You may even decide to include your family in your exercise program!

It’s your turn. What are your tips and tricks for staying fit while working from home? Please share them with us here

The Secret To Moving On…

…is to travel light!

A Mom’s Remedies to Temporary Insanity

Okay, so I may be going overboard with the “insanity” thing… but I’m sure that most moms out there, if not all, would agree with me on the exaggeration.

Being a full-time mom, a full-time wife and a part-time entrepreneur, I am no exception from those who suffer episodes of stress that seem to drive them crazy.

So here are the top things that give me instantaneous (well, almost I think) relief from those stressful moments (not necessarily in this order):

♥ Playing My Guitar (and sometimes, the piano)…

…And singing along.  Often times, I prefer to play my guitar more than the piano since I can sing along more with my guitar.  Come to think of it, it’s been a long time since I played the piano. I like to play mostly slow songs, though I have a few favorite fast songs, and I also play a lot of praise songs.

Every time I play, it helps me feel relaxed.

♥ Blogging (and blog-hopping)

Updating my blog, my kids’ blog, and our business blogs distracts my mind and eases the day’s worries and anxieties. I also love to blog-hop and read other bloggers’ entries if I can’t think of anything to write about.

♥ Listening to Music

Music, especially if the right kind, is an effective remedy for a lot of people I know and myself included. I especially love listening to 80’s music (yeah, I’m an 80’s kid), alternative and praise songs.

♥ Yoga

I used to do this one hour every day. But for two years now, it’s seems I don’t have enough time to do the complete yoga exercise, so when I feel a bit stressed, I just do some specific routine that helps.

♥ Reading Novels

I just recently went back to doing this one, and so far it is helping. For years, it’s either I didn’t have time or I couldn’t absorb what I was reading. I realized now it was the wrong choice of books.

♥ Painting (or sketching)

I actually haven’t done this for quite some time, but it is a sure way to restore my sanity. At times, if I can’t paint the traditional way, I do it digitally.

Looks like it’s time I start working on a new project.

♥ Designing

Design for me encompasses various areas of interest…  like design of fashion accessories and small trinkets, designing a blog or blog header (sometimes, a website),  thinking of creative ideas to sell, designing a scrapbook or photo album, designing bags and shoes (in the past), etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…

♥ Shopping

Yes, shopping is a woman’s best friend… only if you have the budget to go with it! As much as I love to do this, I can only do it when budget permits. 😦

♥ A Full Body Massage

Mmm, this one is absolutely heavenly… What more can I say?

Well, I wanted to add S-E-X but it takes two to tango, and if partner is too busy or isn’t in the mood, then it’s out of my options… Haha!

And then there’s going out with hubby, spending time with friends,  playing with the kids, camping and windsurfing… but sometimes these things need some time to prepare or plan, and have some dependencies apart from myself, so I decided to leave it out the list… 🙂

*Sketches/Illustrations in this post done by me, myself and I…  🙂  –  01.26.09

Fight FOCA and RHB.

I received an email regarding this petition against the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) which gives a link to this site where US residents can give support to the petition.

Although this site seeks support from US residents, it was actually so tempting to sign and use a bogus address or an address of a family/relative who lives there. Instead I just decided to forward the message hoping that contacts in the US would support it, and for non-residents to spread the word.

I am strongly against abortion. It is sad how politicians come up with legislative bills that destroy life and not protect it, and encourages sex through contraceptive mentality.

In our local setting, we have our Catholic Church and different civic groups fighting against the Reproductive Health Bill (RHB). Although this bill does not include legalization of abortion (yet?) and claims to be “pro-quality life, enhances family life, does not promote contraceptive mentality, etcetera, etcetara”, it is very much worth scrutinizing before votes are cast or decisions made. These legal stuff are usually written in so many words that circle or loop around rather than go straight to the point.

I believe most common people have actually no idea what the bill exactly contains. Although there are online sites that post the bill (hopefully it is accurate), many probably have not bothered to read it. We are left to decide based on media articles, church-sponsored forums, organization discussions, etcetera. It is such a debatable issue, that people I know have such diverse opinions about it.

But speaking for myself, there are a number of items in the bill that I am not in favor of.  For one, I specifically don’t want my children to be taught sex education at the age of 10 (or in grade 5) by someone who will just be talking about it on a technical perspective without regard for the proper moral values about the topic of sex. Nor do I want contraceptives to be rampantly available and treated like over-the-counter medicines that makes pregnancy sound like a sickness. I still support natural birth control methods. And there are still more but I might not finish rambling.

For me, the solutions proposed are “easy-way-out” steps that our politicians want to implement without realizing how it can deeply destroy our society’s morality.

If you would like to proactively take a stand and support the Anti-RHB, you can go to the ff. URL to sign the petition:

http://www.petitiononline.com/xxhb5043/

New Year Blues

Up to this time of writing, I think I’m still suffering with a bit of New Year blues and anxieties, if ever there are indeed such things. Since  all the holiday celebrations and up to hubby’s birthday celebration last week, everything was so busy. No time to stop. No time to think. No time to reflect.

Suddenly, all the parties and celebrations ended. Somehow I found things at a sudden halt. I wasn’t ready yet to go back to my normal schedule. Not yet ready to go back to reality. Thus, I felt like in between worlds.

With the thought that a new year has started and another one just ended once again, I started feeling anxious. How much have I accomplished last year? Not much to my satisfaction, but perhaps I need to do a thanksgiving list to keep myself in check.

How much do I want to accomplish this year? A lot… and with a big how?!

And the thought that my birthday is nearing again brings me to another year older, but not necessarily a year wiser and more accomplished. Time seems to go faster and faster. So many goals, dreams, aspirations… what steps have I really taken to make them more real? Will daily errands, tasks and chores keep me trapped again and lose my focus to take real actions?

I look forward with fervent hope that this year would be more promising.

Two Strikes

Two stones were thrown at me today. Wake-up call to bring me back to reality… back to my real responsibilities and priorities.

First, I woke up this morning with a soreness in my throat, tiredness in my body, slight feverish feeling and a headache. I guess this is what I get after five days of stubbornly sleeping at two or three in the morning because I was so caught up tinkering with computer stuff. Sometimes I think I have an addiction to my computer. Something I should not allow to take hold of me. I was deaf to the screams and clamor of my body that it needed rest. It needed sleep. So today, I feel sick… (and you might think, “so what the hell are you doing in front of your computer? You should be lying down resting”. Hmmm, I’m thinking the same thing too as I write this. Yes, looks like I really have it bad!). Striiiiiiike 1!

Second, due to my busy-ness this whole week, somehow it slipped me that my eldest daughter was supposed to wear a Filipiniana costume to school today. Honestly, I really don’t know how I could have missed that. I didn’t see or read the note. I’m always so conscientious in checking on her assignments and upcoming activities, and reading the circular letters being sent. I have been deaf and now blind, with my mind too focused on the things I wanted to finish this week. So in a last-minute rush, I had to search and ingeniuosly come up with something she could wear as a costume. Luckily, I did and had to rush it to her school so she could change in time. I felt guilty though that I failed to prepare earlier what she needed today. Well, with the proper preparations, I know she could have worn something better. Striiiiiike 2!

Fortunately, I don’t have any strike 3. Not yet, at least, since the day isn’t over as of the time of this writing. But hopefully, there will be none!